It Happens – Communications Breakdown

I thought you said…No, I thought you said…What I really meant was…Well that’s not what I understood! Sound familiar?

Communicating is not merely talking and listening. Though these are two important components, just because you say something, does not mean the other person heard what you think you said! Confused yet?

It happens all the time. People miscommunicate. Now rarely is it intentional but I suspect thousands of times a day people end up at wrong locations, at the wrong time, wearing the wrong thing because of miscommunications.

It can even happen during the wedding planning process and certainly as a couple works to establish a new marriage.

Recently after officiating hundreds of weddings over 30 plus years with few hiccups, one of these miscommunications took place. And the sad result was a scheduling tangle that could not be resolved resulting in the couple needing to find another officiant.

Again, it was no ones intention, but the result was the same. The short story is that the beginnings went well. A contact made online, a face to face meeting set up, a good chemistry sensed, a plan to move forward hatched, and a follow up email to confirm.

There were a few contingencies to be worked out later. And this is where things got off track. The communications moved to texting, which in my experience is where clearness and content can be lost. And that’s what happened. An assumption on my part, a wrong date viewed on the calendar, and ultimately the wheels came off.

It happens, miscommunication. I always tell couples in counseling, own your stuff. In this case that is what I did, but sometimes the horse is out of the barn and down the road!

So here is my advice. While in the wedding planning process, though personal conversations are invaluable and give you a feel for a vendor, get things in writing! And further if changes are being made, be sure that everyone is clear. And finally, though texting may be quick, I think it can quickly lead to misunderstanding. And that’s what I am learning!


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